I used to want to be liked so bad I tried to sugar coat the harsh to prevent backlash or hurt feelings. I was wrong.

I tried to be the “nice guy” for many years of my life. In my professional world I shaved my face, had a nice haircut, dressed in almost a uniform, said ma’am and sir, you know. All the pleasantries. At home I was kind too, but I was far more blunt and to the point. No dancing around topics or sparing feelings.

As a result I was a much better father than I was a boss, or worker, or hired hand. The blunt facts are what matter when you are trying to accomplish goals. Things should be spoken in no uncertain terms and in the most effective way to communicate needs, wants, and demands. People 100% will want to act offended, upset, and may even (if you are lucky) clutch their pears. Its a beautiful thing to easily and quickly establish yourself as not messing around and to find out who you can continue to invest your time into.

People who don’t like their ideas challenged will change the topic, lie, fight, screech, and thats fine. Now you know to avoid investing more into them. Thats not harsh or dismissing of people, its dismissing of attitudes.

There are others that will not take it personal that you didn’t tell them good job first, or sugar coat that turd before you pointed to it. They will respond well to not being talked down to or treated like they need pampering. A lot of people would rather you just spit it out, get to the points, and be allowed to start problem solving.

Thats how I know I found my people, because I too dont’ need or want the sugar coated turd. It taste the same regardless.

I am still a nice guy, I love making people smile and belly laugh. I can be shocking on purpose just to mix things up. I am not a perfect guy though, so when I cross the line or forget to address a valid emotion to my statements I’ll try to mend the wound. I won’t invest in the complete healing of others feelings at the sake of my own investment of time.

need advice in no uncertain terms? get me here.